My Own Personal Rollercoaster!

WOW its amazing how your day can start out so great and then later just take a giant nose dive and end up a human puddle of tears. Yes that was me today.  I had a great morning with all my friends, went to bible study, had a really good time, fellowship with believers always lifts my spirits.  I love the music and singing as well as studying God's word.  We are doing a study on God's comfort which is oh so appropriate!  We laughed, we teased, we giggled, we cried all in a good day's work in our group.  Then later I got to do a little girl time with one of my girlfriends, we went shopping! Need I say more? I was very good however and only bought a pair of earrings.

 Then headed home to catch up on laundry, and some more reading. (I know big surprise!) On the way in to the house I also got the mail.  In the mail was the billing statement from the hospital.  This in of itself not a big deal, I have been expecting a summary bill to arrive. I was surprised to see we had a balance on our account, I thought we had paid everything. Insurance/billing dept really love to kick you when you're down don't they? As if we hadn't suffered enough here is another reminder and oh by the way you still owe us money. I know, I know they're a business, really that didn't bother me that much.

 I was fine with the woman on the phone, got my questions answered regarding the bill (yes we still owe them a copay) and was getting off the phone when the customer service rep cheerfully said, oh congratulations on your baby!  I could barely squeak out a response, all I could say was "thanks" and I hung up the phone.  Then I was on the floor sobbing uncontrollably, her very simple and well meaning words hit me like a ton of bricks! I have gotten pretty good at preparing for situations, I can talk about Ethan when I know its coming and I am expecting it.  Its the unexpected that bowls me over, no flattens me like a freight train.  This particular crying spell was really strong, I just couldn't stop. I finally decided I needed to call my hubby and have him come home. He is so amazing, as soon as he heard my voice and I got out my 4 words (can you come home?) he was on his way, breaking some speed laws in the process I am sure. He found me where I had been since I got off the phone, on the floor curled up with one of Ethan's stuffed animals, which of course was covered in my tears.

My husband is truly the best husband alive, he is so supportive and loving and kind. He is my "rock" and I could not imagine going through all of this hurt and pain with out him.  He knows how to soothe me and help me calm down and begin to breathe all without saying a word. His embrace says it all without any words necessary.  Thanks to him I am resting and calm tonight, knowing that even through all this pain he is here for me, whenever I need him and I am so thankful. I love you so much my darling husband, you are my everything!