Yesterday was 10 months you've been gone. I had intended to go out and visit you but life got in the way. I thought about you a lot, as I always do. Your Daddy and I are going to pick out some Easter decorations for you and take them to you this weekend! Funny how sometimes things effect you, yesterday really was a OK day. Not that different than any other day expect I thought about you more than usual. But I wasn't all that emotional yesterday.
Today started out just like yesterday. I got ready for my bible study happy to be seeing all my girl friends and catch up on their week. We started out with a outdoor project, weeding our church flower bed that we had adopted. Then we came in to listen to a volunteer talk to us about the upcoming all church spring yard sale. Normally I would be attentive and interested however all I could think about was the fact that the church wide rummage sale was on Ethan's Birthday, June 11th. Thoughts kept racing through my head, I know irrational but I couldn't help but think, why did they have to plan it for June 11th! Just the idea that the rest of the world will keep on spinning on that day, the day when our world fell apart makes me ill. The day my son was born and died, leaving us shattered and broken hearted. Why does the rest of the world still get to keep on spinning? I shared my feelings with my friends during our prayer requests and as I talked the tears started. There was so much love for me in that room. They are all so amazing, I love them dearly. I told them we are planning a celebration that day to remember and honor Ethan and they were all invited. They all wanted to know the details for the celebration for Ethan so I think most of them will be able to attend. What a morning, I think the next two months are going to be more emotional for me than I realized until now.
Missing you so much my sweet boy,
Love,
Mommy
