In just 4 days it will be Ethan's one year angelversary. Hard to believe it is already upon us. That is has been almost a year since we said hello and goodbye to our precious angel boy. I still marvel at how the time has flown by, yet also stood still. One year, how is that even possible! So much has happened in our lives since then, and so much more still to look forward to.
Yet I find myself this week feeling anxious, not about the actual fact that the 1 year mark is finally here, but wanting to make sure that everything is "perfect" for our celebration that day. I know it sounds so weird, how could anything be perfect on the day you are remembering your baby's 1st birthday in heaven? When you are having to "celebrate" him and this very special day at a cemetery without him, instead of at our home with him as it should have been. Yet worry I do, wanting to make sure we have everything we want to give him the Birthday celebration he deserves. I also worry about people who are new to the grief community and what they will think about our celebration. The fact that I have 1st birthday decorations might seem inappropriate to some people, but to me it is the only chance I get to celebrate this milestone for my son! So I guess I am hoping that people can just come and be supportive regardless of what they might think of our "angel baby" traditions.
Thank you in advance to everyone who is coming and spending this very special time with us. We have felt nothing but love and support from all of you and I know in my heart this will continue to be the case on Saturday. Just need to take a deep breath and relax. It will be a beautiful day. Thanks for "listening".
The story of the life of our son and our lifelong journey through grief.
I'm so there with you Ami. My heart is just so heavy right now. Only those of us in the babyloss world understand "party at the cemetery". And how we cherish that as it IS the way we choose to celebrate/honor our little ones. Newcomers to the grief community will come to understand that. You will have been a bright and shining example for them to follow. ♥U Gramma Vicki
ReplyDeleteAmi, I totally understand what you're going through and have read other people who have lost their babies before meeting them...have celebrated their first birthdays. Keeps you close to Ethan this way. Hugs. Dawn
ReplyDeleteSorry I will not be able to make it but know it will be beautiful in honor of baby Ethan.
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