A quiet morning

I sit here on my parents couch this morning surrounded by 4 doggies. All of them vying for my attention and as we settle into the couch with a blanket, enjoying the crispness in the air I begin to think about how different this morning would be if Ethan was here. The cool quiet morning would be instead filled with the sounds of an infant, almost 4 months old. Cooing, and "talking" as little babies do. Perhaps some occasional fussiness over a wet diaper or a hungry little tummy. But mostly I imagine holding him and staring at his big chubby cheeks in awe, totally in love with this tiny little person that we created. Reality is of course so different, here I sit in this quiet room with 4 doggies on my lap instead of little Ethan...sigh what a sad and strange reality I live in.